Friday, 28 October 2011

Does Biology Cause Infidelity In Marriages

Unfortunately, infidelity in marriages is all too common in our modern society. Contrary to what many people think, it’s not a modern phenomenon. It has been happening since man and woman first started forming pair bonds. But men and women both have a hard time making sense of why it happened to them, whether they cheated or were the victim. Let’s face it. No one is working on his pick up lines when standing at the alter promising himself to his new bride. So why is it so common and what really are the causes?A lot of “scientific” theories have been tossed around about the subject. The most popular is that we are biologically predisposed to cheat. The theory suggests that we just can’t help it – that we are truly human animals. Men especially are wired for sex like a bull elk whose main purpose in life is to pass his genes to as many calves as possible. It’s a matter of doing the species a favor. The theory also says that women are constantly looking for better genes to pass on to their children, better providers, and more security.I’ve heard people actually say these things in a feeble attempt to justify their actions. And I’ve also heard these same people talk about how much different we are than the animal kingdom; that the human race is so far above the other creatures on this planet. It’s more than a little contradictory.But the truth is that there is a little merit to the theory. Now before you label me as a hippy, just take a minute to consider the facts. The research on hormones as well as anthropological studies about human behavior is pretty sound and convincing. It is true that men are wired for sex just like any other male of any other species. Procreation is the real reason that we, as human animals, are attracted to the opposite sex in the first place. All but the most sociologically conscious of us want to have children. No, we need to have children.All of that evidence however, does not make infidelity right nor is it a valid excuse for cheating on your partner. Even if we are an animal species, we have a few attributes that no other animal can claim to the level of humans. We can reason. We can contemplate what if’s. And we can communicate in intricate detail. These special traits are what allow humans to perform open heart surgery, build skyscrapers, and send men and women into space. It’s incredible to think about what humans are really capable of.Not many people that fall into the range we call normal have a guilt free affair. That is enough evidence to conclude that the vast majority of cheaters know they are doing the wrong thing. But, the fact is those individuals CAN control their behavior. There is a point where they make a conscious choice to do the wrong thing. We all learn from an early age that it IS wrong to betray the trust of your spouse or partner. It’s a moral code that is part of the fabric of our society. The point is that we humans can use our powers of reason and communication to solve the problems we face even if that means ending a marriage before going on the search for a new sex partner.In the end, I do not agree that biology causes infidelity in marriages. Like the primer of a cartridge shell, it takes cognitive action to ignite the powder that sends the charge. So too does the decision to act on a fantasy driven by primal forces of nature.

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